Be A Lady
by, Jenna BargfredeBe a lady. That's what they always said. Be a lady?
But how? I would ask. And so they began their barrage of requirements. To be a lady you must:
- Be polite. Then I will not say a cross word. I will take what comes without defense for my honor, or anything silly like that. Honor is for the foolish man, we mustn't worry about that.
- Be sincere. Then I will tell truth and truth alone. And should that hurt somebody, then I will hold my tongue. Who needs to speak their mind anyway?
- Be modest. Then I will keep from celebrating my achievements. I will keep from letting my brilliance shine. It's rude to brag.
- Be mature. Then I will abstain from being a child. I will abstain from that humor which may be thought disgusting or inappropriate. I will abstain from fun.
- Close your legs. Then I will deny myself comfort. It matters not that I'm wearing pants, its unacceptable to be so inviting to men.
- Put on makeup. Then I will cover up all of my imperfections, not just on the inside, but on the outside as well. It would be terrifying if somebody got to know exactly who I am after all.
- Watch your mouth. Then I will not ever fully express myself. It's okay the men can do that for me.
- Cover up. Then I will relinquish any confidence in my body. Confidence is ultimately just a nicer word for arrogance anyway, and we can’t have me distracting the menfolk in my selfish pursuit of anything of that sort right?