By: Kaela Burke
The world had begun in darkness.
In the unwoven tapestry of glorious night, in a perpetual void of inky absence.
Cloyingly sweet shadows, blankets of midnight air.
All was dark, and peaceful, and still, until
Coveted, envied, blinding light. Darkness recoiled.
Chased by burning brightness, light taunted darkness, as life beckoned death.
Utterly intoxicating, the ebb and flow and twist and turn back and forth, between good evil right wrong chaos and order until
Can you really tell the difference?
No matter, morals were of no consequence.
Life evaded death and flourished under its watchful eye, and tinkered around with all sorts of stardust, making little animations, mechanisms that would run for a moment or so before sputtering out. Her little toys started keeping score for her, tallying with an arbitrary point system of minutes and seconds and eons. Life toiled and tinkered on until
An eternity or so later, darkness grew bored. It had been patient, as darkness always was, but it was tired, suffocated under beds and stuffed in closets by light's little flickers. Death loomed over her, minuscule in his wake. It washed over life in a tranquil wave, and all was dark, and peaceful and still once more.
Until.
Omg you're writing and word choice was insanely good. Mind boggling.
ReplyDeleteWoah this is crazy. You always write so well about deep and interesting topics. Amazing writing!
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing! Your word choice is amazing! 10/10 all around.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tess, excellent use of pointed diction. I can't wait to read more of your writing!
ReplyDeleteGreat story telling and intriguing idea. Edgy. I like it
ReplyDeleteI love the contrasting you have between words and phrases, you have a wonderful vocabulary as well! How you made the repetition of the word "until" subtle is mind blowing. Usually the repetition of words makes them stand out more but you took it a step further and made the repetition of the word seem natural, like it belonged there. That's really amazing and made the flow of this piece outstanding. You can bet I'll be back next month :)
ReplyDeletenice !!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am very interested in the mysterious tone throughout the poem. It draws the reader in with curiosity and wonder. How darkness is normally sought to be evil and grim while light is good and hopeful. Your writing more conveys the perspective through the shadows. How darkness made the universe its home, until the arrogant light and life expelled it from its regions and as it overwhelmed and incapacitated the darkness. The dark was forced away, in exile, patiently studying sinful life from the shadows. Overall, I loved the way you personified the elements of the light and the dark. One calm, one cocky.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful poem! You're such an amazing writer!
ReplyDeleteI love how you personified darkness, that's so cool! Your entire poem is great the part where you said "can you really tell the difference?" hit me. You are such an amazing writer!
ReplyDeleteKaela stop being so talented :P. I love the poem. It's very thought provoking. The words you used and the way they're strung together sent shivers down my spine. Your an amazing author, and if you do decide to be a journalist you'll be one of the best!
ReplyDeleteThis is really well written! Nice job!
ReplyDeleteedgy but I like it ;)
ReplyDelete