The McGovern Family Tea by Sarah McGovern

My family is complicated. I have a completely different relationship with each of my parents and siblings, some better than others. Sometimes it feels as if my family is divided in two halves, split down the middle. My parents are the main reason for this, although it's kind of hard to explain why. They are still married (which I'm grateful for), but sometimes the dirty looks and nasty comments to each other make it feel like that's not what they want. My older brother, Jack, is nineteen and has always struggled a little bit with making the right decision. He's stubborn as can be and still hasn't figured out that sometimes you just have to let things go instead of arguing against everything. But he's my brother and I love him and he has been there for me when I need it. He's been in a rough place for a while and I know how hard it is on my parents. My mom, however, is not able to see past how this is effecting her. She is centered on the idea that this situation is hard for her, not trying to help Jack or understanding that as difficult as it if for her, it's worse for him. Somehow, this hasn't made Jack be closer with my dad and he seems to lean in favor of my mom. I guess it makes sense (I think he's still mad at my dad for something that happened when we were younger), but I don't entirely get it. My sister, Kate, and I have a really close relationship and she's one of the most important people in my life. Being only 14 months older than me, she feels more like a best friend than an older sister. Jack and my mom are fighting or angry at each other more often than not, which made me and Kate a lot closer to my dad. My dad is my favorite person and I love him more than anything. He can make me laugh even after the worst days, is always down for late night movies and ice cream, and supports me in everything I do. He ikes to keep me updated throughout the day and sends me a lot of selfies and texts about food. From soccer to swimming to volleyball. my dad was always there cheering me on. Like I said, it feels like my family is divided and it's me, my dad, and Kate versus my mom and Jack. It doesn't feel like this all the time, but when it does, it REALLY does and I hate it.

My family is complicated. I love them so much but I need space from them. The constant tension in my house can get so bad that I won't leave my room all day. I don't like talking about this stuff because I know some people have it a lot worse and I don't want it to seem like I hate my family, because I never could. But the topic of family isn't complete if I don't tell the whole story. I can't write about this perfect family and act like I don't have a brother that got kicked out of school and has to live at home until next semester and wants to leave us and live on his own, or a dad that used to be an alcoholic but has done more for his family than I can express to make up for it, or a mom that cares more about what people think about her than how she's making her children feel about themselves, because that's my family and it's not perfect but it's mine. I love my family and I know that despite all this, we're a family.