Now THIS Feels like Home - Marguerite Bysshe

I know home like the back of my hand

I step in to the thin, grey carpet

You can feel the concrete underneath if you run
Or walk just a little too fast
It'll start to hurt the balls of your feet and your heels. 

The friendly smiles from the office always welcome me

Just glancing through one of the wide windows into the gym 

A wave of calmness and nostalgia runs through me.

Reluctantly, I pull off my shoes and clothes, stuffing them into my small bag

I find my basket on the shelf, take my jug of water, and open the unfinished door slowly, careful not to hit someone on the other side. 

Home is usually cold, and I walk across the tile on my tiptoes, jaw clenched

The tip of my ponytail brushes against the back of my neck

My feet never really warm up. 

You can't walk across the floor without a bounce in your step

Everyone pours onto the open space, hopping up and down trying to stay warm

Caroline comes up behind me, taking my shoulders and using them to jump up and down

I smile.

As we warm up the chatter begins

Side remarks while tumbling along the lines

Laughter from Reese and I earns a swift "Girls" from our coach

We disregard him. 

The sun begins to rise and a warm beam of light is cast across the blue floor

The whole place feels more relaxed.

The pain starts to sink in after stretching 

My knees and my shoulder and my ankles ache, and my neck hurts too, but I tell myself I just slept wrong.

Reese and Morgyn and Emily tape up

Covered in white and blue athletic tape as well as knee and ankle and shin braces.

We start at bars and dread finds its way into my stomach

Bars is dry and chalk is always looming in the air

It gets in your lungs and on your hands and thighs, and finds its way onto every surface of your body. 

I need new grips, mine are covered in sweat and blood and caked in chalk, but breaking in a new pair sounds like too much work. 

Drill upon drills

Talking and laughing and celebrating with my teammates makes it fun, though

My shoulder pulls with every glide and cast handstand

I stretch it out for a moment, bite my lip and try again. 

Beam has always been my favorite. 

I take my drink and run to snag my favorite beam before anyone has even taken off their grips

I rush to wash my hands, the water and chalk stinging my newly opened rips

My clean hands are an odd contrast to my chalky legs

I almost prefer to be covered in chalk. 

Beam warm ups are short
Caroline and I take a beam together and laugh the entire time.
When we split up, I get to work on leaps
My favorite
I may not be the most flexible, but I can sure get height and land firmly almost every time.
One step into a switch leap connected into a very solid wolf half
The skills aren't more than a B or C, but I perform them perfectly
Sissones into split jumps
Leaps into straddle quarters.
I work on some back handsprings and front walkovers too, my two favorite tumbling elements on beam
I wish I could do a front ariel, those are really my favorite
They're a D I think anyway.
One big swing with my arms and a deep plie with my legs and I launch myself backwards
My hands land perfectly right next to each other
My arms and legs are so tight I feel like I'm flying
Until my feet land swiftly one after each other and my chest follows
Arms pressed back
Stuck. 

Floor is where I go to fly
I tumble until my knees and ankles beg for me to stop
We leap and turn and jump, the spring floor launching us into the air every time.
When we work on floor routines everyone sits and watches in a split or straddle
Emily helps me stretch while Reese tells me about a new vault she saw some college athlete do
Meanwhile, we watch Caroline's routine, cheering obnoxiously before her tumbling passes and clapping after she sticks the standing tuck she was so worried about
It reminds me that this is home
These girls are my family
We spend the best parts of our week right here, side by side
We know each other inside and out
We know each others weaknesses and strengths
What we love and what we hate and the skills we can and can't do
Everyone is always there for each other
Through the mental blocks and injuries and frustration
The bonds we've built over the past 10 years don't just go away
Even after we graduate and move away, I know we'll still talk and have an imperishable connection
Because that kind of love is the unbreakable kind
The kind you share with your family.