Family Dictionary

The Family Dictionary

By Sabena Burkhart

I believe that each family has a group of words that specifically relate to their quirkiness of life. Different people do different things. Each family has something special to bring them together, and each of them is closer to the next. There’s quiet families, loud families, small and large families, crazy families, solemn families, mixed families- basically an infinite amount.

However, today I’m going to focus on just one. My family.

Welcome to the Burkhart, and O’brien (with a splash of Bernal and O'Reilly's) family dictionary.

Definition One

weird

/wird/

Adjective

1. Of strange or extraordinary character

7:20 A.M Thursday night: My aunt kathy got off the plane on Thanksgiving morning. Instead of rolling her suitcase she began to a) carry her suitcase into the car, and put it in the back seat. There was a perfectly good trunk waiting for her suitcase to be place in it, but we let her be.

She immediately began b) taking very personal phone calls in the car with us (some of which I wish I could somehow un-hear.) Seconds after hanging up she proceeded to force us to c) take her to a grocery store at 8 am, so she could make an apple pie. We did just that, and she made her apple pie once we got home at 10 in the morning.

When my other aunt, Rosemary, came over before Thanksgiving dinner she began to d) raid Aunt Kathy’s suitcase for expensive clothes while she freshened up in the bathroom. I couldn’t stop her, and if you knew my family- you wouldn’t want to get involved.

When Thanksgiving dinner came I hoped it would calm down. Yet, turkey legs were still thrown in the air with precise measurements, dried cranberries shot through the air (which may I say I have quite the accurate shot), and green beans were flung at the wall to prove that they were still frozen. Did I mention this was in public as well? My mother didn’t want to cook for Thanksgiving so she brought my e) crazy, yet fun to be around family to Perona Farms. You can imagine how the manager felt when my aunt flung a cranberry at his pristine white shirt.

Definition two

deaf·en·ing

/ˈdef(ə)niNG/

adjective

adjective: deafening

3:00 PM Saturday Afternoon: Coming home from a long shift at work, my head was already pounding from listening to customers order the same taylor ham, egg and cheese sandwich for hours. Waltzing into the house, I hear a) a noise so loud as to make it impossible to hear anything else. Aunt Kathy has set the microwave on fire, trying to make “meatless” burgers for me. Don’t know why, or how she thought it was a smart idea to cook in the microwave, but nonetheless flames preturded from the (now burnt) chickpea patty. The fire alarm raced throughout the house.

After that wild ride, my cousins, who are normal despite their mother, began to dance to christmas music that b) shook the house with a noise far too loud for even the neighboring state. They perfected their timing of blasting the music- I was just about to take a small nap.

To make it even worse, my two aunts become insane when combined. They created c) such a noise human ears can not even understand. They yelled with the ferocity of lions, and laughed like hyena’s. However, when they gossiped they spoke in broken italian way too difficult for me to understand fully. I could make out some curse words, and the occasional mention of my mother’s name, but they never said anything serious. Soon enough the craziness of my house became a lullaby and I took that nap I’ve been longing for.

Definition three

love

/ləv/

Noun

5:00 PM Monday Night: The plane for my cousins, their boyfriends, and my aunt leaves at 7:00pm. The time to depart for the airport has come. I hug Andy, my cousin’s fiance, so tightly I hoped secretly he would break an arm and have to stay for another week. I’m overwhelmed with a) an intense feeling of deep affection. My second cousin brought her new boyfriend, Daniel back from England with her. I had gotten so close to him over the few days it was horrible to let go.

My aunt cracked a joke to make me feel a little better about saying goodbye. I didn’t want to smile, but I realized I couldn’t help but laugh. They all were so happy to be over at my house through the holidays, that they were content enough to leave,

I miss my family, that’s for sure, but I know that I’m glad to see them once every two years rather then never. This holiday break helped me realized a lot of things. Not only did I discover the most important, and maybe only, ways to describe my family, but I realized an accurate definition of my family.  

The Only Definition

fam·i·ly

/ˈfam(ə)lē/

Noun.

1. A bunch of people who scream, yell, and hate each other. Yet, they realize other family member’s happiness is essential to their own.